Wednesday, March 2, 2011

In a fit of violent passion,

Ryan cut his hair.
But not just a hair, or even his hair, mind you.
No, he completely and singularly severed his beautiful golden bangs. His forelock, if you will.

see?

And now he bears a powerfully striking resemblance to:
[photo here]

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. He was (and is) a very impressive and influential individual.
I keep explaining to Ryan that monk bangs are a good thing. Sexy.
And yet, he keeps insisting that it's somehow my fault.
Like it's a bad thing.

Well! What was I supposed to do when he grabbed his bangs and threateningly held scissors to them while shouting, "Say I'm your boyfriend! Say it right now or I'll cut!"
Maybe I panicked.
Maybe I said "You can be my boyfriend two times a week," which he took to mean... well. "Cut," I suppose. 

Love, trauma, and the Protestant Reformation,
Banana

1 comment:

alyssa said...

remember how i coined that term when i did it to myself? me= famous. ryan= luther.

Carry

I want to carry you
and for you to carry me
the way voices are said to carry over water.

Just this morning on the shore,
I could hear two people talking quietly
in a rowboat on the far side of the lake.

They were talking about fishing,
then one changed the subject,
and, I swear, they began talking about you.

Billy Collins


that's all, folks

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