Showing posts with label the future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the future. Show all posts

Monday, March 11, 2013

Teacher Lady

Oops. I think I'm going to teach College.

Take a look at this electronic mail of destiny:


Does this mean the "G U" word (Grown Up)? I've been making a concentrated effort to "only buy grown up clothes" for the last few months, reigning in every impulse to purchase a galaxy cat dress or plush full-body onesie with ears, in the event of something like this coming up. I really have been trying.
 
But London is just so much FUN!
What do I do now?
Do you think my students will respect me?
 
I think I will require them to bow to me every time they enter and exit the classroom and to address me as "Professor the Dowager Countess Anna Teacher Lady".
Yes, I think that's it.
 
And I shall be feared.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?



Well, in nine days I'm doing the biggest thing I've done so far.


Brookie took some lovely fall fairy bridals for me. 
Film, like my love, just can't die.

I know I haven't been much of a blogger lately. Between my happiness and grad school, there just hasn't been much room for existential musings. But my permanent boyfriend-to-be and I will be leaving for London Town in a couple weeks, and I think it just might be the perfect occasion for a little resuscitation, no?

oh wow, I'm getting married.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Hi

I'm eating my cereal with a fork, but that's fine because I HATE soy milk and want to taste the least amount of it as I possibly can.

In other news...
I graduated from college (big wup).
I jumped out of an airplane (bo-rring).
I received an awful lot of rejection letters (cool).
I had a few existential crises here and there (what's new?) and took this picture of the lovely, consistent spring weather:


I took some more Holgas in Moab:



Ally Snack and me

Every time someone said "there's cairn" I said, "who's Karen?" 
...And I meant it.
Everyone seemed to know her.

so.
I'm trying to decide what to do now.
It's cool because I can technically do anything (nothing tying me down, dontcha know), and yet the rejection letters and bank account seem to say that I can't. I wish I was some sort of economical genius and could create a large, glittery loophole that created a huge demand for my skill set. You know, like, watching clouds and taking long showers and stuff.

uh.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

good things.

1. good things still happen.



Brookie.




"With rushing winds and gloomy skies
The dark and stubborn Winter dies:
Far off, unseen, Spring faintly cries,
Bidding her earliest child arise;
March!"
Bayard Taylor, "March"
  
  

(We would like to go outside, please.)

2. Good things still happen.
Just when I'd consigned myself to be a shriveled up loser forever, the theatre gods magnanimously cast me in The Secret Garden.
And just when I'd decided to go to bed until graduation (or, more likely, much later) because my brain doesn't work and I'm tired and I've (for lack of a gentler term) screwed up my college education (and everything else), the research paper gods told me I won second place in a prestigious essay contest.
AND DESPITE THAT I still decided that I'm never going to be a writer and no one wants me to be a writer and my life is, for all intents and purposes, over. But then the publication gods said that a Women's Studies journal wants my Mormon feminist rant paper that I wove together with my soul.
I am humbled and so happy about these good things. 
Just a few days ago a dear friend told me that I was "about to turn a beautiful, beautiful corner." I so wanted to believe her. I should have.
And now it's time to turn back and tell everyone I love the same thing-- to help them find their corners. I have been way too sad lately to be anything but selfish, selfish, selfish. 

But there's time to change. Because good things still happen.
Love, light, and singing the most beautiful songs every night at rehearsal/ starting to write words again because I AM a writer, dagnabbit,
Banana


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Vide. {premier projet}

Oh yeah! I'm in Paris! Ha. Bonjour. This is my first project for my photography class, in hommage to Atget. Enjoy!
p.s. I'll update later. I need a crèpe.
[all photos by me on my Kodak ZD710, the little darling]

Eugène Atget masterfully employed his lense to leave us images of a haunting and luminous early twentieth century Paris. 

In his photography, diffused light hangs 
breathlessly suspended
over quiet scenes of vacant streets and empty chairs.

His simple, honest black and white photography leaves a  
bittersweet hint of nostalgia; it is undeniably powerful and inexplicably unforgettable.

 But the most compelling motif in Atget's work for me is this curious notion of emptiness.

What is it, after all, that is so poignant about a
vacant café?
I composed my little ode to Atget primarily in black and white and with a bit of vignetting for a raw, nostalgic effect 
meant to echo his time, yet capture the reality of my Paris today.

But to explore possible explanations for the unfailing power of emptiness, we should look into the nature of the thing itself.

Without realizing it, humans, I think, form a simple equation in their minds when no one is present where someone ought to be. 
This equation is, perhaps:

emptiness = loneliness.


And especially in a city, where we come together to be constantly close to strangers, doesn't loneliness, or a lack of strangers around us, speak of a certain lack that lies inside us all? 
Something we prefer not to think about, so we squeeze in to occupy the same small bit of land and be alone, together.

Atget's work is often described as "ghostly." Maybe that's because absence is so frightening for us.

Think, for instance, of the chilling suggestion of an empty, shadow-filled playground. 
A world without children.


Yes, as Atget masterfully demonstrates, emptiness is lonely and ghostly. It grabs the eye, and stirs emotions the viewer can't quite put names to.

 

And yet, if something is empty, that isn't to say it can't be filled.
Just imagine the colorful promise of the first glimpse of an empty bedroom in the seizième arrondissement.


Wardrobe waiting to be filled,
suitcase waiting to be unpacked,
  Paris waiting outside of bright french doors; 
waiting to be discovered and adored.

Whatever the true significance of emptiness to the human eye, there's no denying that it speaks 
of something more.
Something that only needs someone in order to bring it to life. 

Friday, May 28, 2010

I'm ready to leave soon.


but I don't know where.

[more of the wonderful Josh Ritter here]

Banana

Monday, May 24, 2010

the end.

 
Last night's "LOST" was beautiful.
I'm not a TV watcher as a rule, but I've been enraptured all six years.
Okay, I'm a total Lostie.
And no matter what anyone says, I think the season [I can't quite bring myself to say "series" just yet] ended perfectly!

I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to Vincent, Smokey, the Hatch, the Hippie Van, the Polar Bear and the Others forever, but if I learned anything from that masterfully executed episode,
it's okay to let go and move on. 

[the LOST party I went to last night had awesome
favors like Dharma "beer"- mine was Diet Pepsi- and fish
biscuits]

Good thing I still have my pictures from the set to brag about. :)


okay. I'm totally ready to move back to "The Island."
Who knows... perhaps it's my destiny?
cross your fingers.

love, light, and loss,
Banana

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I Think I Figured it Out


journalism is my occupation
Writing is my passion
Acting is my outlet
and
Music is my life force.

or
I'd be a musician, but I don't have the talent or discipline.
I'd be an actress, but I don't have the perserverance.
I'd be a writer, but I don't have the patience.
So...I'm going to be a journalist.
wellll...a broadcast journalist.
Love, sighs, and lists unceasing,
Anna

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Resolution


Enraptured with this scented storybookas a youngin, I've really started following Little Bunny's lead now.

I don't know:

  • what I want to do with my life and myself
  • where the heck I want to be
  • what I should be doing, working towards, learning
  • where I'm going
  • what I'm sniffing
I am one who insists on knowing these things as a rule.

But I've decided to take a leap (hop, if you will.) of...faith?
I've decided to chill.
I've decided to try things.

This Little Bunny is following her nose.

♥ Annabunny

Carry

I want to carry you
and for you to carry me
the way voices are said to carry over water.

Just this morning on the shore,
I could hear two people talking quietly
in a rowboat on the far side of the lake.

They were talking about fishing,
then one changed the subject,
and, I swear, they began talking about you.

Billy Collins


that's all, folks

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