Showing posts with label commentaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commentaries. Show all posts

Monday, July 6, 2009

In praise of the prominent nose

Okay, so I was thinking.... why does Sara Bareilles always hide her nose?
Everyone nose (please pardon the puns) a healthy (if not hefty) schnoz is the
mark of a good set of pipes and a remarkable sex appeal.
I mean...just take a look at Barbra!
She's
timeless, right? (With a renewable supply of bare-chested men at her
fingertips). I think it may be a proven fact that engorged olfactory nerves make
for better music-making.
Why else would it be called a horn?
duh.
But see how it's cast in shadow
here?
And over-exposed here??I must say, I'm worried about her sneezer's esteem...
Lest we forget what happened to our good friend
Mikey!

You catch my whifft? (I'm killing myself here)
... It's kind of cute, you know?
I mean, look at Napoleon! He's frickin hot! (And powerful)
(....and slightly romanticized in this portrait but I'm still a loyal fan)
Would we love Owen even half as much?And
didn't Cyrano's nez make for one of the best literary/ cinematic events
of tout temps?

Need I even mention Ron Weasley?
Albus Dumbledore?
Pinnochio!? ELMO?
And besides, how cool are Elephants!?!?
 I myself am the grateful beneficiary of something of a prominent snuffer. I think maybe I
  • smell more
  • taste more
  • give better eskimo kisses
  • have a more recognizable profile
  • have a higher IQ
  • shave my legs faster
  • alphabetize more efficiently
  • attract men with accents, muscles, and silky long eye lashes quicker and longer



Let us celebrate the snoot.
dear adenoids,
here's to you. we love you.

In the majestic words of Saturday's Warrior:

"You ain't got a nose till it touches your toes,
and it grows every time that it blows."

love, music, and the plentiful proboscis,
Banana

Carry

I want to carry you
and for you to carry me
the way voices are said to carry over water.

Just this morning on the shore,
I could hear two people talking quietly
in a rowboat on the far side of the lake.

They were talking about fishing,
then one changed the subject,
and, I swear, they began talking about you.

Billy Collins


that's all, folks

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin