Thursday, June 5, 2014


I'm past overdue 
in thanking the world
for the overwhelmingly empathetic and generous response to my last post, "Mother".

I had little thought in writing down my feelings about miscarriage and motherhood other than to hopefully make some sense of it. But the grace and openness that flooded me in return was... humbling, to say the least. There are so many truly good people out there, and, if you're reading this, you're probably one of them. 
So thank you.

Thank you for the blog comments and Facebook comments and for sharing the post with others who could relate or who wanted to be able to.
Thank you for the texts and calls and e-mails and messages and mailed cards and in-person hand squeezes.
Thank you for opening up and telling me of past and present pain.
Thank you for telling me about tragedies much more tragic than mine.

Thank you for being vulnerable and, simply, being kind.
I can't thank you enough or express with these meaningless syllables what it means to me, so thank you.

Today I was up and at my office before nine. This never happens because, lately, getting out of bed is a four hour or so process. But this morning I did it! And whether it's healthy or just a little sad, I felt pretty accomplished.

And here's the part I want to tell you. Today is my very first time being at my desk early in the morning, and I have to wear sunglasses-- even with the blinds down-- because of the angle of my window and the power of the sunlight. 
It’s kind of beautiful.

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I want to carry you
and for you to carry me
the way voices are said to carry over water.

Just this morning on the shore,
I could hear two people talking quietly
in a rowboat on the far side of the lake.

They were talking about fishing,
then one changed the subject,
and, I swear, they began talking about you.

Billy Collins

that's all, folks


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