Okay.

Sometimes I just feel like a big, mean ole, awful, selfish bore.
Sometimes I am.
Sometimes I realize basically everything I do- all day, every day- is for me! For comfort and justification and instant gratification. It makes me feel heavy. And bothersome.

I'm going to do a little spring cleaning.
Start living for others.
It's about time.

• air out and patch relationships
• dig spiritual habits and goals out of storage
• scrub and polish for a clean, bright, shiney future
• mend and organize finances (money stresses me out like nothing else can and I'm not of any use to anyone when it's all I think about)
  
• love love love every day and every one in every possible way I can show it

"Three things in human life are important.
The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
And the third is to be kind."
-Henry James

And, oh life is beautiful! I miss my warm, sunshiney, healing Hawaii home
but am so happy to be in my chilly, familiar, foresty Washington home.
I love my family so much!

I'm going to be better, kinder, wiser, and more appreciative.
I have so much to appreciate:

List of happies I collected over the last month or two

sherbet skies -knowing I can be better - funny quotes - waking up without an alarm clock - memories - friends: old and new - birds - slip n' slides - feeling intelligent - sunday mornings - -sultry acoustic - Hawaii sun, Hawaii breeze - delicious fragrances: natural and otherwise - self control - I am going to China next year - Iron and Wine - anticipated success - holding hands -sandwiches - France - philosophy - wind - adreneline - stir fry - toast - Tessa Brady - eskimo kisses - performing - sleeping in - serving - wonderful wonders in the mail that are so thoughtful I carry around the package all day -comradery - the future - watching someone else watch the person they love - granola - the future - friends, lovers, family - people in general - acai - sad, droopy, testicular cancer dog friends on the beach - making strangers smile - good grades - self-help books - yoga - spontanaiety - greek architecture - dreams - s'mores - organization - The Zoo - sing-alongs - napping with friends - pretty notebooks, pretty things - sweet, kind, thoughtful boys - lucky number 11 - witty british documentary series - new book smell - listening to Jessica Fenenbock sing and letting it make me cry - love - nutella - being a free bird - Shea Stott - smart people - bunnies. of all kinds.

Love. peace.
-Banana