Things I learned in Scotland

• No matter how hard I try, my Scottish accent sounds like a man (or, more frequently, an ogre)
• It's perfectly acceptable to cheerily ask someone, "just a little tiddle?" as they enter the restroom.
• The BEST fish and chips in THE WORLD are found at Canalside Chip Shop in Fort Augustus on the banks of Loch Ness. Go ahead. Prove me wrong.
• Incidentally, Nessie is real.
• Sometimes your shoes get stolen at the hostel and you have to trek in bad H & M flip flops around the wet, windy Scottish highlands. But really they're under the bed.
• Clansmen are feisty! ( i.e. Glencoe massacre)
• William Wallace could never have heroically uttered "Freedom!" at the end of his life because his man parts were severed and shoved in his mouth before he was quartered. (Pardon me, that was graphic)
• Despite the great appeal of beauty and bagpipes galore, two weeks just isn't soon enough to see the people I love.

Love, haggis, and "sure I'll go on a pub crawl...but I don't drink,"

Banana